Tuesday, September 09, 2008

How wheat causes dislocations

It began innocently enough. I saw the fried catfish on the menu and, hopeful, asked the waitress how it was prepared. "Oh," she gushed, "it's coated in corn meal. "Just cornmeal?  I wanted to make sure. "Yep. I've worked here nine years, I know all about how everything is cooked."

By midnight, I knew wasn't as familiar with the kitchen as she thought she was. The evidence? The sores that were developing in my mouth. Sores that make their painful appearance when I've been eating something with wheat in it.  Damn. Damn damn. I took a benedryl, washed my mouth out with antiseptic mouthwash and went to bed.

When I woke up, I instantly wished to stay home.  Some mule driver had come into my room during the night and had their jackass kick me square in the face.  I felt horrible. The sores were hot little wounds. And my sinuses were swollen--another effect of the wheat, combined with the ragweed in the air. I ate some plain yogurt, making sure to get it all over my gums. I took another benedryl. I sat down in despair. Damn that mule. I should take something for the pain. Naproxen? Who was I kidding? I already had sores in my mouth and probably my entire gut. Maybe Darvocet would help.  

I went to work, hoping the Darvocet would kick in. Or the benedryl. Or that my face would explode and kill me. Really, any change would have been welcome.  After a couple of hours, the sinus swelling from the allergies started to go down, though the pain was still relentlessly hanging on. Another couple of dispiriting hours went by. Suddenly---Pop!  My jaw went into place and the pain began to dissipate.  

Wow, my mouth sores had been annoying me so much I hadn't even noticed that I had dislocated my jaw. Too bad, because I could have fixed that right off.  So that's why I felt like I had been kicked in the face. I must have been grinding my teeth in discomfort during the night. I'll try to avoid a repeat of this experience, and take the pain killer before going to bed tonight. Because those mouth sores? Still there. I'm sticking with the grilled catfish from now on.


Evil Transport Lady said...

Holy Cow! I'd go back and tell that restruant! They NEED to be clear about what's in their food!

I hope you get better fast!

yanub said...

Naw, I figure it was more my fault than theirs. Anytime I order something fried, I run the risk of cross-contamination. Even if there was no wheat in the coating on the fish, it's possible that they had were frying chicken at the same time or making funnel cakes or something. Usually, a small amount of cross-contamination is something I can deal with physically, but I think that with the ragweed, I was overloaded from the ragweed. I need to be more vigilant, and stick with the fried catfish at the BBQ joint, where that is the only thing that gets fried.

yanub said...

Accidently deleted Tayi's (http://www.blogger.com/profile/00475323690049542329) comment:

Ouch, that sounds rough. I've been considering going gluten-free because sometimes I get stomach cramps and annoying gas after I eat things with white flour, but I see I have it easy. I think if I started getting sores in my mouth I would freak out and run to the emergency room. How long do they last?

Tayi, they usually clear up in about 5 days. When I was a kid, I asked the doctor about them, and he said that some people just always have sores in their mouths. So it would never have occured to me to go to the ER for something I always had and that had already been discounted as Not the Sort of Thing One Brings Up to a Doctor.

FridaWrites said...

I always had mouth ulcers as a kid, very rare for me now.

I spent yesterday with my hip/SI joint out of place, not dislocated, but strained. Took all day for it to pop back in place. Doesn't stay there long. Rinse and repeat.

yanub said...

I wonder what changed for you now.

My hip is sort of permanentaly subluxed now. It goes into place every great once in a while, but won't stay there long. And my shoulders are constantly entertaining me with their crazy antics. Oh, who knows when one of them will suddenly decide to pop off for a bit?

Tayi said...

I have a hard time understanding how doctors can be so clueless. I mean, your average family doctor can't be expected to do research, but they can damn well be expected not to tell you you're fine and send you away when something in your body is obviously malfunctioning. Grr.

FridaWrites said...

I do eat completely differently than I did growing up, but I don't know if that makes a difference. My sister had them worse, though has much less in the way of allergies. We had strep a lot as kids. Glyoxide solution used to be helpful for me.

Carapace said...

Hey, are you sure it was the fish? Because as far as I could tell they were really cornmeal. Maybe the salad dressing? You did have some, right? Commercial dressings carry a lot of junk...heck maybe even soy did you in that time.

yanub said...

Well, kid, that's possible. Maybe the salad dressing wasn't buttermilk and was instead modified food starch engineered to represent buttermilk.

Frida, for some odd reason, the doctors would never prescribe glyoxide to me. I used a lot of hydrogen peroxide. Not that it helped, really. Mostly, I learned not to complain.

Tayi, yeah, back in the day, all doctors pretended they knew what they were talking about. When I grew up and found a doctor who would admit that he was clueless on some things, I rejoiced. If I wanted a god, I'd go back to church. I sure wouldn't go looking in a doctor's office. It amazes me that some of them still try that demigod crap in the age of the internet.

FridaWrites said...

I always got glyoxide over the counter?? Or my parents did, I thought.

My sister used to burn hers out by rubbing salt into them. Painful but works. Salt water's a little less traumatic.

yanub said...

Maybe it's one of those things that became more common later. I think I am at least 15 years older than you. I'm from the cyclamates/hexachlorophine generation, yet lived to tell the tale!

I have found that, as long as I avoid wheat, the sores will heal up in about 5 days, which is pretty much what one could expect from topical treatment anyway.

The other thing that gives me mouth sores is dentistry. You know that thing with hooks used to force open a small mouth? No? Then you are fortunate to not have a small mouth. I was in my thirties before I realized that, if I went to dentists that had a large number of children as clients, I had a better chance of having a dentist who was comfortable working in a tight space without dislocating my jaws and tearing my mouth apart.

FridaWrites said...

They've mentioned I have a tiny mouth (for a not so tiny person in particular), so I'm lucky not to have dealt with that! I'd develop dental phobia for sure.