Thankful

The past few weeks have been exhausting. Between a hellish pace at work and my joints, I have been beat. Too beat to even think about having something witty, useful, or at all worth reading to write. And not hardly the energy to read anyone else's blogs or answer emails.

For Thanksgiving, hoping to contain the general family mayhem, I had everyone over, knowing that the lack of TV reception would have them all eating and leaving in short order. Yes, I am devious that way. It was tiring getting up early when I so needed to sleep in, but rewarding to see my vegetables being eaten, eat my mom's turkey and ham, and celebrate a new step-nephew's inclusion into the family. And then, today I slept. And slept. And slept. I think the muscle pain may finally be wearing down.

I saw the ortho Tuesday, told him I wasn't going to do the PT or see the neurologist again because I think his diagnosis was wrong. And he agreed, encouraged me to essentially keep being bullheaded, and said we will just take things as they come. I'm thinking I may be past the defensive medicine stage with him, so that is good.

The wound on my back from the removal of the carcinoma seems to be healing OK. It has stopped oozing, and the skin around it, that had started to break out and blister from the bandages, has calmed down and is looking mostly normal. The scabs are sort of half on and half off, and still itchy, but at least I can lie down on my back now when I sleep. Another good thing.

Most importantly, I have the desire to research again. Finding the time to do it will be the trick, but my efforts at learning Japanese and my interests in pop-culture and disability issues are all sort of coming together at the moment. My money, time and employment issues are the same dragging forces as ever, but my interest is back. And maybe even some of you will want to know what I come up with, despite my lack of useful affiliation with any institution and absence of peer reviewed publication? Or maybe I'm just at a stage where I no longer care about those things, and will just do what I want.

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Derm test results

The dermatologist's office called yesterday with the results, and, sure enough, I have a basal cell carcinoma. I'll get it removed Monday morning, then go to work. I hope there is something better to do that just put vaseline on the wound, because that is what he is having me do for the wound from the biopsy, and, man, I am getting sick of my shirt sticking to the oozy scab.

I'm not worried about the surgery itself. It should be fast and hopefully completely remove the offending skin. I've had a basal cell carcinoma in the same spot before, but it was treated with topical chemicals rather than just getting rid of the damned thing.

Dermatologist comes complete with clue!

Wow!

I went this morning (well, now it's yesterday morning) to a dermatologist to have my back checked since Carapace had thought she spotted some problematic moles.

Once the dermatologist began his check, he noticed my ring splints and asked me what they were for. I told him, "to keep my thumbs on." Then I told him that my daughter has an official diagnosis of EDS, hypermobile. (My own official diagnosis is much more vague and scattered.) He's touching and pulling on my skin, and says "I was going to ask you about that." Then, "what other symptoms do you have?" I told him all my joints are generally lax and that some people say I have soft skin. And he said, "It is soft." Then asked me some more questions about Carapace and other family members.

Now, you may wonder, why I am impressed with this. After all, I am pretty obviously symptomatic, right? And I always give a complete medical history, both personal and family. But doctors hear what they want to hear, see what they want to see, and will tell you to shut up if they don't like you rocking their world with conditions they don't feel adequate to treat. They'd rather send you for endless pointless testing in the hopes that it will lead to something they know about than believe the evidence in front of them. But this doctor was different, and for the first time in a long time, I feel like I can trust a doctor, and my confidence in my own ability to assess what is going on with me is better because of that.

So. That ortho? He can either pull his head out and pay attention to what I say, or I can see a different one who listens in the first place.