The end of the world is nigh

Yes, boys and girls, the unthinkable has happened, and we had actual snow that caused the people in suits to send us home early from work. Just a smattering of snow, you say? Aha! Spoken like someone who lives where there are enough sand trucks to get to all the bridges before the carnage mounts.

Frankly, I would have preferred to have been told not to come in at all, since driving in a mix of hail, sleet, and snow is not my idea of a fun time for all.

Cause of death: Easily distracted by shiny objects

OK, friends, I need a gadget. Surely there is something out there that will alert me that I have forgotten to turn off the burner on the stove. Something besides the smoke alarm that I can never reach and end up knocking to the ground where it lies dormant until I get someone else to put it back up. Something that will come on before the smoke alarm. That would be good. I've already managed to cook the spout right off one tea kettle. Stop me before I manage new feats of inadvertent stove-top metallurgy.